Whats a lovey?

Many parents will resort to having a lovey in the crib with their little one, usually once they are at least 6 months old, or when the parent feels confident to do so. What is a lovey and how can I get my child to attach to one?

Can be a teddy or piece of soft material

Usually the size of a washcloth

A lovey is a small object, usually soft in fabric, the size of a wash cloth, that either has tags, silky outter trim, or has tags or bits that a baby can suck on, place around their face whilst sleeping, or to hold in their hand to play with in the crib. They may also be referred to as a transitional object, or comfort object.

Over time, they become an attachment object and can make a young child feel safer, in times of distress, time for sleep and even as a companion, they are good transitional items when they adjust to being away from home, such as going to daycare or preschool.

Many parents question wether they should use a lovey, and what the benefits are. It’s true that in some cases, a child won’t actually attach to an item, even if you try or offer it to them.

When I was younger, I used to work in a pre-school and there was a little boy there would used to walk around with a pair of his Mums knickers. They tend to be soft and smelly and for most children the smellier the better, if you have a child who is attached to a lovey, I’m sure you know what I mean!

Washing them is usually a big production

My first child had a small teddy that was part of the baby gym, he used to rub it on his nose to help himself fall to sleep. My daughter used to suck her thumb and didn’t have any other attachment object. My youngest had a stuffed double headed bunny, that he sucked the ears off (literally) that he called ‘Teddy’.

A much loved lovey, since 2010, currently missing body parts.

If you want to use a lovey but don’t know how to get your little one attached to one, here are some tips that you can try.

1. Wear it in your bra so that it picks up your scent or sleep with it in your bed. This way it will pick up your scent and small babies are like little animals and will sniff things out.

2. When feeding (breast or bottle) have the lovey placed between your baby, and you. Babies will often grab material whilst feeding anyway, like your top and hang on, so put it in that spot so that they can grab it with their little paws whilst sucking. There is actually a link between sucking and rubbing of the fingers, lots of children who suck their thumb or soother, will have a secondary action with their other hand.

3. Have it in the crib, when you feel ready and offer it to them to play with whilst hanging out in the day.

4. If your child becomes really attached, you might want to get another one, incase it gets lost of misplaced. Due to their development at the time, it can be traumatic for them if they loose it. It’s also good when it’s time for the smelly one to have a weekly or bi-weekly wash.

5. If your child does become attached to the object, they may use it up to the age of 7 or 8. Hendrix is now 12 and I am more attached to this lovey now than he is, he keep’s given it back to me, and I keep putting it on his bed - hence why I still have it around.

Mary Meyer Baby Oatmeal Lovey (clean one)

The lovey clean lovey above is an example of what a lovey looks like. This one is from the Mary Meyer Collection and is called the Oatmeal Baby Bunny Lovey. You can see more loveys on the website here, or you can buy one from Snuggle Bugz Canada.