How to have a late night out with a baby

Having a baby changes your life in a way that you could never have imagined. It can truly be a juggling act, and if you have a few children, you are constantly balancing schedules and making mental notes of who has to be where and when (confession: I have dropped the ball on the kids schedules many times and turned up at the wrong place at the wrong time). As a former nanny, I was much more organized and was able to get the children out of the door with lunch kits in hand by 8am. As a new Mum, I couldn’t get out the house until 2 in the afternoon !!

Having a baby or adding to your family, results in a big change for everyone. I had always been a bit of a free spirit leaving the UK at 18 to be a nanny in America, followed by a stint of working in Greece, then Australia and back to America, so having a baby, put the brakes on that travel lifestyle hard and fast.

Even with all my nanny training and background, having my own baby left me feeling overwhelmed, trapped and isolated (It didn’t help that we emigrated to Canada when my first was only 3 months old). I know that many of you reading this, also would have had moments where you felt the same.

Having a baby means that doing things on a whim like you used to, days out or even just a few hours, need more planning. This may make you feel like you have ‘lost’ some of yourself, that you're not as fun or enthusiastic about things, like you used to be.

I often get asked "How do I have lunch with my friends if the baby is supposed to be napping?"

In the early days, babies feed and nap very close together, so getting out in a good window, especially if you want to be showered and your teeth brushed, almost feels impossible, and some days it probably is. I remember bumping into a friend one day, and she had just got her nails done. I was in awe that she had had the time to go, I was walking around covered in baby sick, welly boots and tracksuit bottoms. Her children were of course older which is why she had more freedom.

I am here to say, you can still have some fun and some late nights out, but it may not be to the same degree that it once was, it will take just a tad more planning.  

It is possible to have a baby on a routine, sleeping well and still have a life. It might not be lunching daily or taking an off the beaten track 3 day adventure, but you can make it work here and there. Your life doensn’t have a be a totally ridgid schedule like social media may make you believe, you want to have balance and realistic expectations.

There is so much information on the internet these days, that it can start to become unhelpful.

Here are some tips to help you feel like you have better balance, go out late once in a while, and remember that, in the scheme of things, these feelings and your current situation are not forever.

How to stay out later than average in public: Depending on what your plans are, if you know that you are going to be out late one night, maybe it’s a dinner date with family or a wedding with a whole crowd, being out with an overtired baby is no fun for anyone.

On days like this see if you can allow for an extra nap or a longer last nap. This will push your little ones bedtime back later than average giving you some wiggle room to still have fun.

Take pjs with you and put your baby in them, before you leave along with a top up feeding. If they fall to sleep enroute, its a matter of then transferring them into their bed when you get home.

Another option is to have a stroller or carrier handy incase they do get niggly, so you can go for a walk if possible and have them fall to sleep that way - you might have to go outside if its a noisy venue.

Make sure that the next morning, you still get your baby up by 7am latest. If you are still doing a dreamfeed being back by 11pm latest is a good move (if you can stay awake and out that late yourself).

Late dinner at a friends house: A much more casual event and a good stepping stone before going all out and attending dinner out. Ask your friend in advance if you can potentially do a bath at their place, so your evening routine stays the same.

Take a pack n play with you and set it up in a similar environment that you have at home, so white noise if you use it, sleep sac and dark environment if possible etc.

If your baby has not slept in a pack n play before, have them try it out at home, by taking a nap in there or sleeping for a few nights over night.

Try to be relaxed if you are feeling stressed about your baby sleeping in a new environment, they can pick up on this, making bedtime more difficult.

Try to plan on leaving at a time that you can be home by 11pm - or if doable, stay the night if the journey is too far.

Even better is for you to host, then your baby can be in their own bed. You can also take advantage of the deep sleep ( first part of the night ), provided your guest’s are not raising the roof in your place past 11.30pm, you can get away with making noise and not being worried about the baby stirring.

Lunch date with a friend: I think this is a more common scenario than staying out late, who doesn’t love a lunch date and natter with a friend. It breaks up the day and gives you the opportunity to have an adult conversation (even though it may be about your baby).

If you can walk to the venue so that your child can take their nap in the stroller you have hit the nap-time lunchtime lottery. You get some fresh air, and a lunch date with an uninterrupted conversation. If thats not possible, try to do either a brunch (11am) or later lunch (2pm), either side of that midday nap, so that if your baby is awake, they are more content.

Be realistic: Having too many late nights out in a row, will throw you and your baby off, and this could have a knock on effect to things falling apart. If you know that you are going to have a late night one night, plan on staying home the next and aim for no more than 2 late nights a week. For daytime nap interruptions, plan on no more than 3 days out of 7 that are off.

Deep sleep: Use the deep sleep to your advantage. One to the big arousal points is around midnight, it’s where the type of sleep that your baby is in will flip. As an example when my daughter was around 6 months old, I put her in the crib in her car seat at 7pm to go to sleep as I had to go to Ikea and I didn’t want to disrupt her bedtime. Once she was asleep, I put the car seat in the car, then transferred her to the trolley at Ikea, but covered up the car seat so that it stayed dark. Went shopping and bought what I needed, got home, took her out of the carseat, did the dreamfeed and put her in bed where she slept until 6am the next morning ( true story! ) It also helped that she was a thumb sucker as those little ones, sleep hard!

I know that the days can be long when you have a little one, and it’s all about the routine, which although helpful can also be monotonous.

Still feeling like you are trapped and have a unique situation that you dont know how to handle? Feel free to contact me using the form below.